Thankful

I had an MRI today and while I was laying there trying to tune out all the noises, I prayed. I layed there thanking God for all the wonderful people in my life. I named all the people who are always at the top of my list: Luke, my parents, brothers, friends, etc. Then I got to some new wonderful people in my life. I am of course so very thankful for my beautiful Addison. She is amazing. She can make me smile no matter how bad the day is going and she makes me love life.  But another person I am so thankful for is Addi's birth mom. So, now I would like to talk about her a little bit. :)

This woman is amazing and I could never thank her enough for what she did for us. While we were in the hospital we spent alot of time with birth mom and her family; she was able to see Addison's first bath, she got to hold her, kiss her little nose, hold her hand, and was able to see us as a family.
The day of discharge Luke and I let the birth mom have some time alone with Addison in order to say her good byes. This was a hard time for all of us. I was a mix of emotions. Part of me was so happy that we were getting discharged and taking our baby home. Another part was heartbroken thinking about what this wonderful woman was about to go through..she was about to say good bye to my precious daughter and hold and kiss her for the last time (for awhile at least). And part of me was just thankful for everything.

Luke and I had talked and I knew that I wanted to say something to birth mom to let her know how much she meant to us and how thankful we were. We walked in the room and I handed Addison over. I had tears in my eyes as I told her to take as much time as she wanted to say her good byes and to take lots of pictures, then I choked out the only 2 other words I could manage...thank you. We hugged, with Addison Grace between us, and it was one of the sweetest moments I've ever experienced.

I've wondered since then if I said enough or if I should have said more. I honestly don't know. I just want her to know how strong she is. How much we appreciate her and love her so much. I want her to know that we will teach Addi about her and tell her how very much she loves her...and that giving her up was hard but she loved her enough to do it. I want her to know that Luke and I are going to raise Addison the best that we can.  I want Addi to see those pictures from the hospital and know how much her mom loved kissing her nose and holding her :) I want Addi to know that everytime I kiss her nose, I am thinking of her birth mom and  thanking God for her. I want her birth mom to always be a part of Addi's story and I want her to know all the good things about her.

Eventually, I'm sure her birth mom will see her and we are good with that...but until then we will tell Addison what a wonderul, amazing gift she is. And we will tell her about her mom and let her know where she came from and let her know everyday how blessed she is to have to have so many people that love her.